


after hours — miya atsumu

by tsumue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Praise, Self-Doubt, Smut, petnames, terms of endearment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:09:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsumue/pseuds/tsumue
Summary: a healthy relationship should be something everyone strives for. it should leave you feeling secure, ground you and give you the strength and motivation to succeed in your life. then why is he so exceptionally brilliant at sabotaging himself and his own happiness? why does he prefer to be in pain instead of giving all of him to another person?
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Reader, Miya Atsumu/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	after hours — miya atsumu

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the weeknd's song with the same title. i recommend to listen to 'after hours' while reading the fic :)

do you remember the feeling of sleeping next to your loved one? holding them in your arms and subconsciously pulling them closer once the first rays of sunshine tease you awake? burying your face in their messy bedhead and trying to dwell in the most blissful moment of the entire day? filled with peace and quiet, love and trust.

**i'm fallin' in too deep**   
**without you, i can’t sleep**   
**‘cause my heart belongs to you**   
**i’ll risk it all for you**   
**i want you next to me**   
**this time i'll never leave**

atsumu does. he thinks about that moment every morning when he wakes up in his chilly hotel room. hugging the bland white pillows instead of your warm body—no trace of you anywhere to be found, but in his aching heart.

a heavy sigh leaves his lips whilst his brows furrow deeply, squeezing his eyes shut once more to meet you again in his dreams. he dreams about you often. often it’s a glimpse of your beautiful smile or soft laughter that rings through his dreams, sometimes he can even hear your voice call out to him.

**your body next to me**   
**is just a memory**   
**i’m fallin’ in too deep**   
**without you, i can’t sleep**   
**talk to me, without you i can’t breathe**

but his deep sleep stage never lasts long, causing him to wake up in the middle of the night. when he tries to find your figure in the dark he’s only met with cold sheets and an eerie feeling.

god, he never imagined it would be this hard without you. it’s been months since he last saw you, months since he broke your heart. he’s a master at self sabotage, destroying something that was supposed to be perfectly fine.

your relationship was this _something_.

you’ve been dating for two years before he ruined it all. you had a healthy routine working together like a perfect clockwork. it was almost scary how well you fit with another. there was rarely a reason to fight, neither of you ever felt neglected and your busy lifestyles made the get-togethers in the evening even more enjoyable.

_sunday’s were your holy days, completely dedicated to the two of you. you stayed in bed the entire morning, often opted to visit either of your parents in the afternoon hours and spend the evening cooking together and watching horrible movies or going out. it was the best way to recharge your batteries for the coming week—until he stood in the front door of your apartment instead of walking inside after another visit to his parents._

_he was awfully quiet the entire trip back. the amount of times you asked him what was going on impossible to count until he finally told you “we should break up.”_   
_he never forgets your expression. all the joy and love you held vanished like he slapped you in the face. you stood across from another in your shared living space, and he never felt that far away from you before._   
_his mother caused all of this, asking him when he was planning on finally proposing to you. osamu is already engaged. what is he waiting for?_

_well, what exactly held him back?_

atsumu turns to lay on his back, pillow still hugged tightly against his exposed chest, hiding the lower half of his face beneath the plush filling as he stares holes in the ceiling.

**my darkest hours**   
**girl, i felt so alone inside of this crowded room**

**different girls on the floor, distracting my thoughts of you**

how he tried to forget about his fuck ups. that night he started going out for the first time all by himself. no osamu or you to be with him, no sakusa to scold him or anyone else to keep him in check. 

his plan was to drink his sorrow away. calling in sick for monday practice and drown in self pity. he never deserved you anyway, best to end this while you still have a big shot at finding your love. your one true love. a man who’d combine heaven and hell for you.

he leans his head back and empties his whiskey, face slightly contorting by its strength. his eyes shoot up the minute he sees you sitting down in front of him. until it’s not you anymore, but just some random woman. he loses interest quickly, opting to order another glass of whiskey instead of acknowledging her presence as he gets up to sit directly at the bar.

**put myself to sleep**   
**just so i can get closer to you inside my dreams**   
**didn’t wanna wake up unless you were beside me**   
**i just wanted to call you and say, and say**

at this point it’s easy to fake tiredness. alcohol has always caused him to feel unimaginably exhausted. the moment he re-meets the uncomfortable mattress of his hotel bed he groans in discontent, thoughts turning back once again to his bed at home. the amazing mattress, the soft pillows, your scents mixed together with the floral laundry detergent you preferred.

it makes sense to grab his phone, to stare at your picture which is still his lock screen even though osamu told him around thirty times to finally change it. his twin is painfully aware of atsumu’s stupidity, knowing that he won’t try to fix his mess. won’t try to explain his insecurities and hurt. atsumu puts his phone down again, his head swirls with the image of you, the memory of the us he willingly destroyed…

“hello?” your quiet voice rings through his ears. it causes tears to form in his lash line. he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth as he furiously blinks, trying not to fall apart right this instant.

atsumu is unable to speak, unable to form any coherent thought—forced to only relish in the aching feeling in his chest.

you sigh upon not hearing an answer from the number. it’s not saved in your phone, your sister deleted his contact a while ago when you were passed out after another night of crying about him. the traces of atsumu in your life deleted. any message, call or contact on social media. deleted, blocked and forced to be left forgotten.

“good night…” he hears you say before only the ringing of a dead line remains.

“no,” atsumu finally calls out as he sits up, his heartbeat frantically drumming against his ears and chest. he throws his phone away and tugs at his bleached roots, tears running over his face as the realization settles in that he fucked up—yet again.

**oh, baby, where are you now when i need you most?**   
**i’d give it all just to hold you close**   
**sorry that i broke your heart, your heart**

he never dared to call you again after that night. instead he opted to keep his feelings hidden away. he exists almost mechanically; waking up early, going to practice, working out, eating at onigiri miya nearly every day. which starts to worry osamu a lot.

“why don’t you finally start looking for an apartment? or you wanna crash on my couch? i offered it more than once, tsumu.” osamu leans against the counter as he eyes his brother, who’s currently eating his second order of onigiri filled with spicy tuna.

atsumu shakes his head in reply, opting to further stuff his face with rice instead of talking. “what about facing her?”

with that the blond twin suddenly stops chewing and almost chokes on the grains of rice going down his throat. chasing it down with some green tea before he looks at osamu. “are you stupid?”

osamu sighs heavily and simultaneously takes off his miya cap to place it on the counter. a hand cards through is dark hair to fix his hairstyle. “you know that you’re the stupid one out of us. always have been, always will be.”

atsumu returns to stuffing his face with his onigiri, pouting heavily to add to his child like behaviour.

but osamu can sense what is actually going on inside his twin’s brain. a small smile spreads on his lips as he turns around to continue cleaning up his restaurant.

**never coming down**   
**i was runnin’ away from facing reality**   
**wastin’ all of my time on livin’ my fantasies**   
**spendin’ money to compensate**   
**cause i want you baby**   
**i'd be livin' in heaven when i'm inside of you**   
**it was simply a blessing to wake up beside you**   
**i'd never let you down again**

on his way back to the hotel he fidgets with his key—the key to _his home_. he kept it in his team’s jacket all this time, clutching it tightly in his fist whenever his mind goes frantic.

_what if he just happens to stop by? maybe he forgot something? yeah, that could definitely work. maybe he changed his mind and wants the plant you two bought last year..._

his heels turn, steps quickening as he finally is on his way to your apartment. his courage stays with him during the train ride, even during his walk to your street, but diminishes the moment he stands in front of the building. his hands feel cold—colder than yours always were. 

he grabs the keys to unlock the security door of your apartment complex and makes his way inside. past the lobby to wait for the elevator and finally press the button for the 13th floor. he anxiously taps to stand from one leg to the other while he stares at the number of the elevator. it stops at the fourth floor and atsumu considers getting off. but a deep breath helps him change his mind.

yet the same thought pops back up on floor 8 and ultimately floor 12, so close to his goal. so close, and he practically jumps out of the elevator the last moment.

his heart is thrumming once more, head ringing slightly with his eyes burning inside their sockets. _how was he supposed to face you? now after all this time, you surely must be over him._ why should he, how could he ruin that again.no it’s safer to walk back to his hotel room. hurry down the staircase instead of standing inside that cursed elevator.

down, down down.

floor 11.

floor 10.

floor 9.

but atsumu stops again—standing aimlessly in front of the door to floor 8. he crouches down, his elbows rest on his knees as he hides his face behind his hands. “idiot, get it together…” atsumu mumbles to himself. picking himself back up and turning around to walk up the staircase again.

up, up, up to the 13th floor.

his hands dig into the banisters, feet feeling heavy with every step he’s getting closer to the apartment. mind running at high speed about the different scenarios that could await him. what if there’s a new guy? what if you throw something at him? what if nobody is home? what if-

_the click of the lock rips him out of his thoughts._ _why did he just unlock the door like he still lives here?_

atsumu’s eyes peek inside your entrance way. your apartment is dark but he hears the tv. your favourite ghost hunter show runs and confirms that you are indeed home. 

‘oh fuck…’ is all his mind chants, yet his body pulls him inside. the familiar smell of your home floods his airway, fills his lungs and mind, causes his heart to burst as he takes another step inside the apartment.

**oh, baby, where are you now when i need you most?**   
**i’d give it all just to hold you close**   
**sorry that i broke your heart, your heart**

he drops his practice bag unconsciously, the same way he always did, and you’d end up scolding him for. he wants-; he _needs_ to see you is all he’s able to acknowledge. unable to worry about infiltrating your safe space, possibly interrupting your peace. maybe catching you with someone else, watching the shows you used to watch with atsumu. his eyes dart around the living room, checking in on the show quickly before they land on your usual spot on your couch, abandoned.

instead he hears your breath hitch to his left, his brown orbs immediately follow the sound and there you finally are. dressed in your soft pink cashmere sweater and leggings, fuzzy socks to keep your cold feet warm—you must freeze without him, don’t you?

  
“what… **_why_** …?” your shocked voice rings through atsumu’s ears.

he’s careful at approaching you, slowly turning his body to face you without taking another step towards your body. you look smaller than before, clearly afraid of something— _him?_  
he frowns slightly and bites down on his lip, fighting back his tears as he’s painfully aware of the fact that you’re the only one allowed to cry right now. yet he is at a loss for words again. there are so many things running through in his mind since he laid eyes on you, he can’t decide what to say first. as soon as he parts his lips it’s not his own voice filling the room but yours.

“please leave” you quietly plead, fingers tugging at the ends of the arms of your sweater to pull them over your hands. it’s one of your biggest signs of discomfort.

“baby–” he pauses, clearly not used to not call you by a nickname.

you violently shake your head, unable to form any words to fight him off as your throat tightens by the overwhelming feeling of your emotions. tears run down your face and you back off, trying to lock yourself in your bedroom before he can even understand what you’re about to do.

but he’s quick, for _once_ in his life he doesn’t freeze but follow. catching up with you with a few steps of his own. it’s now or never that he embraces your shaking body, holding you tightly yet ever so lovingly against his broad chest.

**i said, baby, i’ll treat you better than i did before**   
**i hold you down and not let you go**   
**this time i won’t break your heart, your heart**

your hands press against his body, attempting to push him away from you before you give up the fight and pull him even closer against you. the sounds of your crying are drowned by his msby jacket, staining the fabric with your salty tears while atsumu carefully brushes his fingers through your silky locks.

it feels like time stops running; the world stops spinning, and the universe forgets how to move. you’re in his arms, he gets to feel your body once more, gets to breathe in your scent again, hear your voice, feel your touch. “i love you” escapes his lips, nothing more but a pathetic whisper exposed by his incomprehensible thoughts.

you shake your head, tears only spilling further as your fingers clutch onto the fabric of his jacket. “no” your quiet voice fights back.

it’s atsumu’s turn to have tears streaming down in his face, a little hiccup ruins his “i do,” causing it to come out more breathless than his previous confession. his arms tighten around your figure and he hides his face in your hair. “i’m so sorry.”

it’s quiet between you two. everything needed to be said is drowned by crushed feelings and broken hearts.

you can feel his heartbeat, feel it racing against the thin skin of his neck and pounding against your ear that’s resting on his chest. you find yourself unable to let go of him, unable to lose him again.

atsumu has always been terrible at words, always struggling to find the right ones at the most important times but quick to use the dumbest ones whenever it was most unnecessary. “please…” he mumbles into your hair, “one more time…” sorry won’t even begin to explain how he feels, there is no word he could think of to express his pain and remorse. all he is aware of is that he needs you, wants you, desires to make you happy his entire life.

you’re unable to speak, unable to stop him once he kisses your forehead and begins to litter your face in more pecks. his lips taste your tears, taste your pain with each display of affection on your soft skin while you observe him. the moment his hands come up to cup your face, you wrap your fingers around his wrists, holding him in place as your eyes finally meet for the first time.

you’ve never seen such a pained expression before the breakup in atsumu’s eyes. but right now there is more to his brown orbs. not just pain, but love, regret, overpowering emotions too long repressed now spilling free from his gaze. your tears wet his fingers, yet he is quick to wipe them away with his thumbs.

“let me make it up to you, forever…”

_you let him._

the faint nod of your head allows him to lean in, to plant his lips on yours in a soft kiss, in a way you’ve never felt him before.

atsumu is like fire, always quick to engulf you fully and fill your body with heat. but right in this moment there is nothing but a soft message of his love transferring from his lips to yours. his lips brush against yours once he pulls back, unable to bring more room between your bodies than the bare minimum. “‘m so sorry” he breathlessly repeats—afraid to raise his voice. he pecks the corner of your mouth and leaves a sweet trail down your jaw and along your throat. his hand cradles the back of your neck once his kisses turn more searing.

your eyes flutter shut upon his gentle touches, already falling in too deep by the pleasure he gives you. it’s as if you’re finally feeling whole again, finally able to breathe properly again, and your heart beats inside your chest faster than it did ever since he left.

atsumu’s hands flow along the shape of your body, to take hold of your thighs and hoist you up as your arms wrap around his neck. he carries you into _your bedroom_ , sits down with you on _your bed_ and holds you in _his_ _arms_ —finally feeling your weight on his lap again.

**‘cause i want you baby**   
**i’ll be livin’ in heaven when i’m inside of you**   
**it was simply a blessing wakin’ beside you**   
**i'll never let you down again**

you hold his eye contact while your dainty touches explore his body. taking off his jacket just a moment before he helps you tug off his shirt. his skin is as warm as you remember, the contrast to your cool fingertips as familiar as all his beauty marks, scars and every twitch of his muscles beneath your touch.

they are soft and light, causing his mind to spin as your fingers ghost along his chest and leave a trail for your lips to follow with soft kisses on his neck and collarbone. painting atsumu red and purple—claiming him once again as _yours_.

you pause for a moment, your eyes raking over his trained muscles, fingertips now gently running upwards, all along your marks as your eyes meet with his. his beauty takes your breath away, makes it hitch in your throat as your eyes wet with tears once more.

atsumu cups your face and pulls you forward to re-meet with his soft kisses, stopping the tears from spilling before they can escape your lashes. his hands rest on your back, allowing him to shift with you to lay you down on your back. he carefully brushes lose strands of your hair out of your face. when did you get even prettier? it’s almost a sin how beautiful you are, how soft your hair feels, how cute your rosy cheeks are. he sighs in utmost content, his expression growing mellow upon taking in your features.

you kiss the palm of atsumu’s hand once his fingertips trail down along your temple and cheekbone, your sweet smile peeks through behind the edges of his hand while that certain glimmer finally returns to your eyes.

it gives him the confidence he needs to proceed with his actions, carefully taking off your sweater and mess up your hair further. it’s cute how it's colour adorns your features, causing your eyes to shine through the strands even stronger.

just as you card your locks out of your face, atsumu places his lips atop of yours again—catching you by surprise. his hands rest on your waist, to hold himself up above you and ground your own body beneath his.

your hands are free to touch him, to find comfort in the familiar shape of his shoulders, arms and chest. your nails tease his skin with gentle scratches as you explore his abdomen, opting to surprise him further by gently tugging at his bottom lip. urging atsumu to deepen the kiss, to dip his tongue between your parted lips and fully taste you again. have your own tongue play with his, twirl around another and ultimately force him to lose focus once your hand cups his growing erection.

his forehead rests against yours, eyes closed as the sheer pleasure of your touch could make him come on the spot. without you he wasn’t able to come, to feel aroused, not once touching himself nor allow anyone else to touch him.

how long has it been? too long. it took him too pathetically long to finally be here again.

**i know it’s all my fault**   
**made you put down your guard**   
**i know i made you fall**

he kisses down over your exposed body, between the valley of your breasts and along your stomach. hands gripping around the waistband of your leggings to pull them over your butt. atsumu’s palms spoil your newly exposed legs with delicate touches once they roam upwards to spread your thighs for his lips to softly kiss your weakest spots. littering pecks on your inner thighs and up to your core. the tips of his fingers already hook below the fabric of your panties to finally take them off. he drags two fingers along your pulsing slit, carefully testing how ready you are for him. your arousal is already coating his digits and your sweet mewls are the symphony he missed—causing his cock to finally strain against his sweats again.

_it’s almost embarrassing how much he depends on you at this point._

atsumu’s eyes shoot up to your face the minute he finally enters your tight cavern, sucking him in like he’s the only one able to fill you up.

your hand covers your mouth to hide your moans as you're suddenly feeling awfully shy to have him hear his effect on you.

atsumu hovers above your form. his fingers reach knuckle deep inside your cunny once he finally curls them against your walls. “let me hear you pretty girl. please…” his husky voice pleads against the shell of your ear.

the hand previously covering your mouth finds purchase in his blond locks, opting to pull him closer against your body to hide your face in the curve of his neck as he brings you closer and closer to the edge.

your ragged breathing has him shivering, groaning right into your ear as he whispers “no one else for me.”

you hum in agreement with his praises and promises. your hips rock against his fingers and you cry so beautifully the moment he adds a third finger. your legs shut close around his hands as the pleasure becomes overpowering.

“tsumu…” you sing upon his neck, nose grazing along his quickly pulsating artery to feel his heartbeat be in perfect sync with your own racing pulse. “don’t leave, never leave” you whine, nails digging into his shoulder to accentuate your pleas. the coil in your stomach finally loosens and lets you see white, with atsumu comforting you throughout the entire ride.

he leaves kisses on your sweaty forehead and temple, nuzzling his nose in your hair and whispering promises into your locks. “i’m here baby, i’ll always be here, as long as you want me… i’m so sorry.”

**then said you were wrong for me**   
**i lied to you, i lied to you, i lied to you**   
**can’t hide the truth**

  
shortly after atsumu gets off the bed to make quick process of his sweatpants and briefs.

you crawl towards the edge of the mattress and take a hold of his hand—your eyes filled with such need as they glance up at him. your own emotions lay bare in your gaze, the fear of being without him more prominent than any other feeling. you tug at atsumu’s hand and he follows obediently. climbing on top of you and covering your body beneath his. your hand still holds onto his, fingers intertwining once he positions his cock on your prepped cunny. your legs wrap around his waist to guide him, allowing him to sink in between your legs with ease. yet you’re still incomprehensibly tight.

he feels each ripple stretch further once his thick shaft dives deeper inside your velvety walls. his forehead rests on your collarbone, shaky breaths escaping his lips while his hold on your hand tightens. “so perfect for me,” atsumu praises between his kisses along your chest.

your legs tighten around his figure—you never felt this sensitive before. every inch of his cock seems almost overwhelming, causing you to clench further around him as your little moans begin to fill your bedroom.

the moment atsumu finally seems able to move inside of you his hips pull back out of you. his mouth retreats from assaulting your skin to take in your flustered state: your flushed face, neck and chest—heaving deeply from pleasure.

you notice the kindest smile resting on atsumu’s face once you look up. it causes your heart to flutter, but the ruthless sheathing of his cock deep inside you has your head push back into the pillow, your eyes fall shut the same time your brows furrow. saccharine moans spill from you before you bite down on your lower lip and slightly shake your head.

witnessing your face contort in utmost pleasure is something he always wanted to burn into his memory. “i love you so much, my pretty girl…” atsumu mumbles while he is completely high on your blissed out expression.

you hold him close to you, arms almost cramping around his shoulders as your nails dig into your own skin.

it causes atsumu’s heart to nearly break. a fresh set of tears form in his eyes all throughout the perfectly synced movement of his hips with yours like a well-studied dance you two have perfected over time. his baritone moans ring inside your ear, mixing with chants of your name like you’re the only thing on atsumu’s mind.

**‘cause this house is not a home**   
**without my baby**   
**where are you now when i need you most?**   
**i give it all just to hold you close**

if your body remembers one thing from your previous nights spent together, it’s how much he loves surprises. atsumu loves to feel your hands push him back so you can sit on top of him with your fingers digging into his strong chest muscles while you lower yourself on him.

atsumu’s hands roam over your outer thighs, fingertips digging into your butt for support as he sits back up—unable to keep lying on his back since he needs to be as close as possible to your body. his mouth finds purchase on your chest. dragging his tongue between your mounds and taking one of your nipples into his mouth, grazing the sensitive nub with his teeth to further challenge your attempt at riding him.

your hands rest on his shoulders to seek support from his built body once you lift your hips off his lap and lower yourself back down. your hips rock in a gentle tempo against his, opting for different patterns of movements once in a while as you tighten around his shaft.

atsumu’s hands hold on to your waist, lifting your body with ease whenever you move to raise your body further off his shaft and sink back down again.

your fingers rake through his tousled hair and you pull yourself closer against him—trying to leave no room between your bodies. you hide your face in his locks to have your mewls and moans cloud atsumu’s mind as your lips tease the shell of his ear.

his guiding of your hips becomes stronger, faster, and it feels like he stole the control out of your hands. a sweet whine of him clashes with your skin the minute his cock twitches inside of you when he feels you convulse around him—indicating your nearing orgasm. atsumu continues to leave more praises on your body while his lips make their way along your neck. “my good girl” he mumbles before a moan interrupts him. his arms snake around your waist to suddenly pull you down onto his dick, forcing you to stop your bouncing and instead allowing himself to almost reach your cervix with the tip of his cock. he is awfully deep inside your fluttering walls and guides your hips to move at an agonizingly slow pace—leaving you so painfully aware of how good he is at hitting your sweet spots.

tingles run through your entire body the moment atsumu breathes you in with an open–mouthed kiss. you feel his cum shoot all the way up inside your walls, and the thumb that starts playing with your clit has you yelp in surprise. your hands cling onto his shoulders as he finally pushes you over the edge and has you come undone.

**sorry that i broke your heart, your heart**   
**and i said, baby**   
**i’ll treat you better than i did before**

you hide your face in the crook of his neck and use his scent to comfort you. the fear of what is coming once you settle from your highs starts to crawl up your skin while it causes new tears to form in your eyes. you force your eyes shut, trying to desperately hold on to the current moment.

“my perfect princess...” atsumu whispers and continues to cradle your body in his arms as he holds you close against himself, even after your orgasm—refusing to let go of you. again.

you feel the need to choke out the words he’s been using previously, to tell him just how much you still want him, need him, love him. but it’s scary. the fear of being left alone still lingers in your mind and hinders you from articulating freely. instead you kiss his cheek—only once. your forehead rests against his temple while you refuse to look at him, refuse to acknowledge that the moment is about to fade.

after a few minutes atsumu turns his head cautiously, opting to brush his nose against yours to gain your attention. yet it’s only in that very moment that he notices the tears leaking from your shut eyes. he frowns slightly, causing his puppy look to adorn his handsome features. “i love you and i’m sorry, i’m terribly sorry for hurting you like this. i-, it doesn’t change a thing but i was afraid” he finally admits before holding your body close to his to hide his face in your hair.

**i hold you down and not let you go**   
**this time i won’t break your heart, your heart, no**

his fingers blindly leave love messages on your skin as he finally holds you in his arms again. falling asleep in your duvets drenched in the floral detergent and your scent. the warmth of your bodies creating the perfect temperature beneath your blankets as he gets to squish your smaller frame in his hold again.


End file.
